I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
