Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize