just come out here and I will go home with you...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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