shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
