i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
