oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
