Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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