my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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