yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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