Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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