you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
