Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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