Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
