I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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