Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
