How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
