I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
