I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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