i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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