"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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