My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
