I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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