oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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