You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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