I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize