one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
