are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am in a vortex of obligation.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
