somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
