My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize