We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
