SEEEEXXX PLEASE
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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