I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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