Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
