Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
