so that wasnt chicken after all
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
