i always forget guys have bellybuttons
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize