it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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