Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
cat food counts as protein by the way
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
