So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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