I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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