just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There are leaves in my underwear?
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