it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the raccoons are back...
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