No subtext here. People are naked.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
