3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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