First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
