I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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