when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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