It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
