I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
