its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
