Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
