I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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