Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize