Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
COCAINE IS GR8
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
