im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
