Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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