just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize