It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
