I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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