Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Come share oat with me in your robe
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
