yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
