I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
