I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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