No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize