I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
