i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
