I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
