my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Let's get the cat blown out
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
