If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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