Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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