i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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